The Job Troll is the Cause of the High Unemployment Rate

There is a bridge to the land of jobs that has a Troll living underneath. You are required to have the right credentials and documentation to cross.  If you do not answer the questions correctly then you are unable to cross the bridge and enter the land of jobs.

 Well I want a job, so how do I get across the bridge, I ask?

The Job Troll says, “If you would like do medical coding person  you can’t expect to get to take the course and get certification you must work as a coder for three years then you are considered certified. You mean you can’t get the job without having the job?

“That’s right you need to be working as a coder already.”

That’s crazy, You mean you can’t use education to get a job?

“That’s right”

What about a government job? “You must be able to say that you are from the correct political party before you are able to cross the bridge”.

 What if I’m a veteran, can’t I get a government job?

 “You can get a job only if you are in the right place. Had your Navy ship been stationed on the East Mediterranean instead of the West side of the Med  during the Iranian Hostage Crisis, then you would qualify for a government job.”

 How about a job as a teacher?  I have a Bachelor’s degree.

 “For the fifth year masters you have to go back to undergraduate school and get the correct number of hours in the right major”.

 Can I work as a librarian if I get a Masters in Library Science?

 “That’s not likely.  They hire from within and they don’t usually hire people that just go out and get a MLIS degree. You need to start in your late teens working part time though college and then you need to get a Masters in Library Science then after some very stiff completion you will get a full time job.”

 They say school counselors are in demand.  What about that job?

 “Well, with a Master’s degree in counselling the jobs typically are reserved for those people that already have a teaching certificate and or already work in the field.”

 What if I have been a stay at home Mom does that count?

 “No, now if you have experience as a Nanny for some important family then you could get a job.”

  How about a working as an insurance agent?

 “Well you can get a license but you must be working for a company on the Insurance Commissioners List in order to get a job”.

 What if I want the job I had in High school and college, working in retail?

 “I’m sorry those jobs are reserved for young people”.

 The Job Troll stops and says, “Now there is a way to go ahead and cross the bridge to jobs.”  

What’s that I say? “Do you come from a wealthy family with social and political connections?”

 No, my father worked for the government and my mother was a stay at home Mom.

 “Too bad that would have opened all sorts of jobs up for you.”

 What if my ancestors are Cherokee Indians, I ask?

 “I’m sorry you are only 1/8th Cherokee and you would have to be 1/4th to qualify.”

Well what if I used to write articles for my College Newspaper and Alumni magazine.

 “Well, says the Job Troll, have you published anything for cash lately? Well I’m sorry you can’t cross the bridge into job land.”

What if I need a job!

 “Do I look like I care?” says the Troll.

 Well I’m tenacious, maybe there is another bridge that will allow me to cross.

 “Good Luck finding it, says troll with an arrogant smile…

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